Warning...bring tissues...

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Warning...bring tissues...

Post  Krasimir Svetkova on May 10th 2011, 3:09 pm

[Written for Dean...hopefully this doesn't ruin her morning too much. I think I cried almost the whole time writing it.]

When Krasimir Svetkova wakes up in the morning the first thing he does is turn his face towards the other end of the bed and say ‘good morning’ to Reed Dawson Svetkova. Then he slowly slides out of bed and heads into the bathroom to take a shower.
After getting dressed and making sure the kids get on the bus to their elementary school, Kras locks up their house by the beach – which was almost finished getting fixed up from years after the fire - and heads off to work.

Several years of being badgered by Reed’s mother led to Kras attending a fashion show with Reed, where he was tricked into doing a few walks himself ‘for fun’ by Hilde which led to a few dozen fashion designers practically begging him on hands and knees to model their clothing. Kras had finally given in and much to his surprise had found that he actually enjoyed modeling.

So now that’s what he did. What he had been doing for five years now. And even though Reed is never at any of the shows, Kras can still imagine his voice telling him how gorgeous he looks, how like a Greek god he looks. Kras has never thought he was anywhere close to a Greek god, but let Reed think what he will, as long as it made him happy.

Normally one to be oblivious to getting stares, Kras could not avoid the somewhat pitying, sad looks he got from some of his closer coworkers or the gentle, comforting touch on the shoulder from his current employer when she walked by. All the gestures pushed at his barriers, made it harder for him to keep up the smiling façade he put up every morning before walking in through the big glass doors.

Thankfully the day passes quickly and soon Kras is heading out the doors to pick his children up from elementary school. Usually he let them ride the bus home, but not today. Today was a special day. They were going to pay a surprise visit to Reed.

When he pulls up to the front of the school, two little girls – twins; both short, pale, and freckly with bouncy brown curls – and a slightly taller boy – he had inherited Kras’ darker skin and dark hair, but his hair had somehow managed to be curly as well which had baffled both Reed and Kras – came running out of the big school to jump into the back seat of the car, the boy taking the passenger front seat, each talking rapidly and loudly.

A huge smile always lit up Kras’ face when he saw his children. The twins, Ava and Hilary, were six, and their older brother, Jake, was eight. And, to him, they were perfect.

“Daaaaaddy, Miss Wilson mistook me for Hilary again!” Ava wrinkled her tiny nose, a little pout on her pale face.

“Yeah, well, that’s because you decided it’d be a fun idea to wear my hat.” Hilary replied quickly before Kras could say anything.

Kras had pulled away from the curb and was driving through the heavy afternoon traffic, smiling as he listened to his daughters’ bickering. What he didn’t notice – not surprisingly, considering he did have a habit of being oblivious to things sometimes – was Jake watching him from the passenger seat, watching how his father’s hands were slightly shaking while they clutched the steering wheel.

Jake always noticed the little things. He was a quiet boy, silent and observant. And, knowing where they were going today, Jake wasn’t surprised to see his father’s hands shaking.

“So, ve all ready to surprise daddy today?” Kras asked, calling to the girls in the back as well as to Jake in the front.

“Yes!”and “Yay!” came the responses from Ava and Hilary. They both looked forward to surprising their other father quite a bit.

Jake hadn’t responded, merely smiled lightly. Kras didn’t need to hear him to know he really did look forward to this as much as his sisters did.

Kras knew it couldn’t be easy for his kids at school, having to explain the fact that they have two fathers...had two fathers, but he never once heard them complain. In fact, one time during parent teacher conferences the teachers informed Kras that his children proudly told all their friends about their parentage.

Thinking about the moment when he heard that still made tears gather in his eyes.
Blinking his eyes furiously, Kras turned off the main road and drove a bit further until he pulled through the gates into the old cemetery and parked near a crumbling old statue of an angel.

“Alright, everyvon out! And no running off. Ve all stick together, okay?” Kras told them sternly. All three kids nodded in agreement. Kras was mostly talking to the twins. They had both seemed to have inherited Reed’s talent of tripping over everything and nothing at the same time. Kras always had to pay extra special attention to where they were walking just to make sure Ava and Hilary wouldn’t trip too much.

Ava looked up at him with big puppy dog eyes – courtesy of Reed who was the master at using the puppy dog eyes, and apparently wanted his children to be able to use it as a weapon against their other father since they knew it would get them whatever they wanted - and reached her arms up, not really wanting to walk. Kras normally tried not to spoil his children, but, heck, he couldn’t say no to them; generally he tried not to, but he always failed and gave in. He lifted Ava up, tossing her in the air a tiny bit and laughing as she squeals, before letting her settle in his arms. Hilary held onto his pants leg and Jake followed closely behind, his backpack hanging off his skinny shoulder.

They walked in silence for a few minutes until they reached a more secluded spot in the cemetery. Only a few yards up ahead was a newer tombstone, dark words etched into the grayish marble. The name ‘Reed Dawson Svetkova’ was right up top, his date of birth and date of death in the middle, and, at the bottom, it said ‘loving son, husband, and father’.

Kras had to try swallowing past the lump in his throat as he gazed at the tombstone. Ava squirmed in his arms, begging to be let down. Kras let her down and she grabbed Hilary’s hand, both girls skipping the rest of the way ahead of their father and brother so they could reach Reed’s grave first. Hilary tripped over a tiny rock and Kras bit his lip, hoping she hadn’t gotten hurt, but Ava reached down and helped her back up and there was not even a cut. The girls both shrugged simultaneously and then continued on their way and, once they reached the tombstone, they sat down next to it, side by side still holding hands.

Kras and Jake finally made it as well and they joined the girls on the grass, Kras in the middle of their little huddle so he could place his arms around his children.

“Surprise, Reed! Ve came to visit you today so ve could have the whole family together. Ava isn’t sick this time so she got to visit too.” Kras smiled, his eyes filled with love as he spoke to his dead husband.

“Hi, daddy!” Hilary and Ava giggled at the same time. “We’re going to go pick some dandelions for you if daddy says it’s alright....” they both turned their big eyes up to Kras.

“Alright, but be careful.” Kras replied. “Jake vill come vatch you as soon as he’s ready to.” It’d be a good idea, since Kras didn’t have his first aid kit on him and he knew they’d probably need it. And it looked like Jake had his backpack with him so at least they’d have one first aid kit – Kras had made it a point to make sure each of his children carried at least a mini- first aid kit with them in their back packs. His papa bear senses told him you could never be too careful.

The twins nodded then stood up and wandered off, heading for the patches of dandelions that were a bit further off.

“Did you vant to say anything to your father vhile ve’re here, Jake?” Kras asked Jake as soon as the girls were out of earshot.

Jake leaned against Kras and shook his head, just sitting there quietly for a few seconds; a few tears slowly sliding down his cheeks. It took all the strength Kras had not to break down and cry as he watched his son. He knew the girls barely remembered Reed, only having been two when he died in the fire that burned a lot of their house, but Jake had been four and he had been very close to Reed. Jake had practically begged Reed to start giving him art lessons at the age of three and Reed had given in after one, Kras had begged him to also – just so Jake would stop begging him to beg Reed to give him lessons – and two, because Jake was actually pretty good. And ever since the fire, even after Reed’s death, Jake had continued painting as much as he could and his talent had only continued growing. The eight year old maybe didn’t talk very much, but he was pretty darn smart and talented.

Kras sighed softly and kissed the top of his son’s head. Then Jake pulled his backpack around to his lap and opened it, pulling a photo frame out of the bigger pocket. “Vot’s this, Jake?”

Jake silently handed the photo frame over and then set his backpack off to the side. “It’s a small painting I did of our family. I vanted daddy to have it.” Jake had inherited more of Kras’ accent, something the girls were slightly jealous of.

Kras looked at the small painting, a soft smile on his face. Kras and Reed stood on either end of the painting, the girls and Jake in the middle. “This is beautiful, Jake.” Tears made their way into Kras’ eyes and he tried to blink them away as he sat the photo frame down against Reed’s tombstone. Then he pulled Jake into his arms, hugging him tightly for a moment. Then he sniffed and, blinking rapidly, let Jake go, smiling adoringly at him. “You’re a good boy, Jake. Your father vould be very proud of you, you know. I am, definitely.”

Jake smiled, wiping tears from his eyes and standing. “I’m going to go vatch Ava and Hilary now, daddy. Call us venever you’re ready, okay? I love you.” He turned and walked off to join his sisters who were having fun chasing a few bumblebees around only to squeal and run in a different direction if the bumblebees turned and started in their direction.

Kras watched his children for a bit before turning his gaze back to Reed’s tombstone. “Our children are beautiful, baby. Sometimes I’m still baffled by how lucky ve got. The twins are going to be absolute troublemakers vonce they get a little older, and I can tell already they’re going to have fun messing vith the boys.” He chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye. “But they are so kind and gentle. And Jake...oh, Jake. That boy misses you more than he lets on. I can tell. You should see some of the paintings he’s been bringing home too. I think vith a bit more practice he’ll be almost as good as you vere some day. And me...” his voice grew quiet, “I’ve been doing the same thing, Reed. I...” his voice choked up and tears flooded his eyes, “if it veren’t for our gorgeous children I don’t know how I’d make it. Sometimes I vake up vondering how I can still find the strength to get up out of bed. These three help me get through the days more than they know.”

He sniffed; glad he had stuffed some tissues in his pocket. “Baby...I miss you so much. I know I shouldn’t say it, but, god, the cat vos old. I loved her; I really did, but she vos old and sick and vos going to die soon anyvay and there’s this huge selfish part of me that vished you just hadn’t gone back into that house to save her from the fire. Ve had our whole lives ahead of us and now...sometimes I don’t think I can do this alone, but I’m going to try. I’m going to try, baby, because there’s no vay I’ll ever be able to love somevon as much as I love you. I’m never going to find somevon to replace you, because it just vouldn’t feel right and it vouldn’t be fair to that person. It’s going to be me and you till the end, Reed. It vill alvays be me and you....vy...” he let out a choked sob, “vy did you have to leave me so...so soon...god, Reed, I fucking love you so much.” He couldn’t hold it back anymore. It was like a floodgate had opened and the tears just came pouring down his face. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly, wishing that it was Reed holding him right now not himself. Sobs wracked his body as he doubled over, his shoulders shaking violently.

Ava, Hilary, and Jake heard their father’s broken sobs and stopped where they were. It was only at this time, every year, the anniversary of their father’s death, that they heard him cry like this. Ava and Hilary immediately clasped hands again, not sure if their daddy wanted them to come comfort him or not. Jake decided to take matters into his own hands and, taking hold of Hilary’s other hand, led them over to their father’s shaking form.

Kras felt tiny hands resting on his shoulders and, without even looking, reached out to pull all three of his children into his arms. He held them tightly as he tried to quiet his sobs. They sat together like that for a good ten minutes until Kras finally seemed to have himself under control. Sniffing, he pulled a tissue out of his pocket and blew his nose, afterward turning a watery smile to all his children. “I’m sorry, kids. Daddy just gets...a little emotional sometimes.” He chuckled lightly and reached out to gently rub some dirt from Ava’s cheek.

“I bet daddy’s up there right now telling you to wash your hands after you blow your nose.” Hilary grinned.

“And I bet,” Kras grinned, pushing himself up off the ground to stand, handing Jake his backpack back, “you vould be right about that. Unfortunately there isn’t a sink vithin reach right now so I guess I’ll just have to do a double good job vashing them ven ve get back home. It’s getting late so vy don’t ve head back? Everyvon say ‘farevell, ve’ll see you next time!’ to daddy.” Kras never just said ‘goodbye’ to Reed. He would never just say goodbye, because, no matter what, Reed was always going to be around. Always.

The three kids said farewell till next time and then waited as Kras said his own farewell and kissed his fingers, lightly pressing them to the top of Reed’s tombstone. “I love you, baby. Alvays.” He whispered softly.

Then he turned and crouched down so Hilary could climb onto his back as he scooped up Ava and Jake in his arms. “Sheesh,” he laughed as he stood and started back for the car, “either I’m getting too old to carry you all at vonce or you’re all getting too heavy. Vhich is it?”

The children laughed and giggled, not really answering. “Vot? No answer? Are you all calling me old?”

“Yes!” The girls squealed, giggling. Jake just laughed and hugged Kras tightly.

“Vell, then I guess this old man is going to be too tired vonce ve get home to make his very special chocolate chip cookies...”

“Nooooooooo!!!” All three kids protested and begged him to make the cookies. They were as addicted to the cookies as their late father had been.

Kras laughed and crouched back down so they could all get off of him to get into the car. “Alright, I vill, but you all have to get your homevork done before any cookie nibbling can occur.” There were groans of protest to that which caused Kras to laugh more.

The ride home was quieter and Kras occasionally got lost in thoughts of the past, but they were more of the happier times than the sadder times.

Once they got home the kids ran into the house to start their homework as Kras went into the kitchen to get started on the cookies.

That night, after having gotten the kids to bed and gotten ready for bed himself, Krasimir Svetkova turned his gaze towards the other end of the bed and said ‘goodnight’ to the memory of his late husband who still dwelled within the room, now and forever.
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Re: Warning...bring tissues...

Post  Molly Prewett on May 10th 2011, 3:20 pm

I should not have read that.
It was gorgeous, though.
<3

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Re: Warning...bring tissues...

Post  Albus Severus Potter on May 10th 2011, 6:37 pm

Aww D:
BUT IT WAS STILL REALLY GOOD *cries*


Kras is handling it better than Blaine is in my fanfic >_>
<3
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Re: Warning...bring tissues...

Post  Miela on May 10th 2011, 7:28 pm

Oh god *sniffles* That was just amazing!
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Re: Warning...bring tissues...

Post  Reed Dawson on May 10th 2011, 7:33 pm

I am a blubbering mess right now.
OMG that was so good. And so sad. *sobs*
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Re: Warning...bring tissues...

Post  Krasimir Svetkova on May 11th 2011, 12:14 am

*demands group hug*
<3
Thanks, everyone!
*flails*
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Re: Warning...bring tissues...

Post  Reed Dawson on May 11th 2011, 12:14 am

*hugs gratefully while still sobbing*
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Re: Warning...bring tissues...

Post  Molly Prewett on May 11th 2011, 1:23 am

*crawls into group hug*

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Re: Warning...bring tissues...

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