All I want for christmas is...

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All I want for christmas is...

Post  Draco Malfoy on December 7th 2010, 8:18 am

THE CONSEQUENCES OF PMING WITH ASHLEY AND BEING TIRED AND AMUSED AND ALL SUGARED UP

Every body stops

and stares at me

These two teeth are

gone as you can see

I don't know just who

to blame for this catastrophe!

But my one wish on Christmas Eve

is as plain as it can be!



All I want for Christmas

is my two front teeth,

my two front teeth,

see my two front teeth!


Gee, if I could only

have my two front teeth,

then I could be with you
"
Merry Christmas.

"
It seems so long since I could say,

"Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!"


Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,

if I could only whistle (thhhh)


All I want for Christmas

is my two front teeth,

my two front teeth,

see my two front teeth.

Gee, if I could only

have my two front teeth,

then I could wish you
"
Merry Christmas!"


Voldemort scoffed as he walked down diagon alley, his face hidden under a hood. Those bloody children wanted their teeth? He wanted his fucking nose back. He was going to kill Wormtail for messing up that potion. Not having a nose was ruining his game, no woman wanted a guy with no nose, except Dom Bellatrix. If he had his nose he could finally give her the eskimo kiss she wanted. Some day he would find one. The perfect nose.

He gave up on shopping, none of his death eaters had done anything deserving of a reward anyway. Most of them should probably be punished some time soon, only some of them -cough-BellatrixandPeter-cough- enjoyed it. Pity.

Walking back into his giant lair he saw Snape walking past. Wow. That was a nose. Though Voldemort had seen it before he had never really studied it. Such a strong line and large nostrils that flared so well. He wanted that nose. That was exactly what he wanted for Christmas.

"SNAPE. SNAPE GET YOURSELF BACK HERE I WANT A WORD."

Snape skulked back over and Voldemort fingered his wand in his pocket. "I need something from you Snape." Then the great bat asked what he needed because apparently he was willing to do anything for his lord.

"I need your nose." Snape didn't have the stones to ask him what he meant but Voldemort could feel his curiosity. "Look at me Snape." When Snape looked up Voldemort raised his wand and used a slicing charm. Rather a lot of blood spilt all over the bottom of the robes he was wearing but fortunately the were black and thus didn't show the blood everywhere. Holding the glorious specimen he conjured up a mirror and held it up to his face. Damn there was still blood on it. He wiped it on his hip and held it up again. "Perfect."

He tried a few charms and couldn't get any of them to work until he decided there was only one real way to do this. He cast a sewing charm to stitch the nose in place then conjured up some of that silvery muggle stuff and taped a thin band over his new nose. "That'll hold it until it heals." The words sounded odd now that he had a nose.

Voldemort looked down at the potions master at his feet and prodded him with his foot. Well crap, Snape was dead. Too bad. The Dark Lord stepped over him and walked down the hall, proudly showing off his new appendage. All the death eaters stared as he walked back until he reached Bellatrix. She took one look at him and fainted. He bent over her and poked her until she sat bolt upright, knocking the nose off.

Voldemort cried out and Bellatrix stared at him, all the Death Eaters falling about laughing. After all it wasn't every day you saw Bellatrix Lestrange with a nose duct taped to her forehead.

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Re: All I want for christmas is...

Post  Viktor Krum - Inactive on December 7th 2010, 8:21 am

OH MY GOD
KP;DWALFJEO;A
THIS IS BRILLIANT
MY LOVE FOR TAM HAS GROWN

DOJFSE;OFS
I JUST DIED
OMG
SO MUCH LOVE
LOVE
LOVE
LOVE
*rereads*


ANDUMITHINKSNAPESNOSEWOULDRUINHISSEXY
LEAVEITOFFFORMETHANKS
>.>
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Re: All I want for christmas is...

Post  Romilda Vane on December 7th 2010, 11:27 pm

OMG WHAT.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
*dies*
MY GOODNESS
I LOVE YOU TAM
SO SO SO MUCH
<3
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Re: All I want for christmas is...

Post  Remus Lupin on December 10th 2010, 1:12 am

OMG OMG OMG
*is super dead*

THERE ARE NO WORDS TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS. XD
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Re: All I want for christmas is...

Post  Draco Malfoy on December 11th 2010, 11:04 pm

Glad you all liked it <3

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