The Morning After

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The Morning After

Post  Remus Lupin on October 27th 2010, 1:27 pm

It’s always the mornings after I look forward to.
At the same time I dread them just as much.

It’s always the mornings after I dread the most.
There’s not much I can do to keep you from hurting on those nights and I’m terrified of what I may see the next morning – especially when I can’t be with you during the night.

When I’m lying there, on the floor, exhausted, in pain, and possibly bleeding from self-inflicted wounds that I, whose human mind was suppressed as the wolf’s mind took over for the night, could not prevent, I look forward to hearing the door open. Hearing your footsteps as you walk over to kneel beside me, feeling your comforting hand on my shoulder, listening to the comforting words you speak – that is what I look forward to.

I always open the door tentatively, peeking around the door’s edge before walking in. It hurts to see you laying there on the floor, exhausted and in pain. I almost laugh when I stop myself from asking how you are doing – obviously the answer would be ‘not very well.’ Walking over slowly, I kneel beside you, resting a hand on your shoulder and trying to find the right, comforting words to say.

Yet, at the same time, I want to ask ‘why?’ Why does he come in here? Why must he see me like this? Why can’t he just wait till I come back later in the day?

I don’t think I could wait till later in the day, after those nights, to see how you’re doing. I have to know that you are okay, or, at least as okay as you can be after going through another transformation. Waiting...is terrible – it scares me.

I don’t want him to see me like this. That’s what I dread when he walks in – that he’ll see me lying there. It’s weak, pitiful. Uncomfortable.

I do not like seeing you like this. I really don’t, but I have to be there; I want to. How else can I help you afterward? I want to help you. I know it makes you uncomfortable – having someone see you afterwards – but, please, understand; I’m just trying to help.

I know he doesn’t do this – helping me every time – because he pities me. He does it because I’m his friend, and he cares more than the average person.

You’re my best friend. I’m not helping you out of pity; I’m helping you because you’re my friend – I care about you...a lot. I...

Yet I still don’t like it when he sees me like this.
It’s selfish of me to think, after all the help he’s given - all the care, the loyalty and friendship - that I don’t want him around to help the morning after, but I think it anyway.

If you truly didn’t want me to be there...then all you would have to do is tell me so. I’ll do whatever you ask of me. I just want to be helpful and show you that I do care. You shouldn’t have to be alone after going through all that.

Though if you weren’t around those mornings then I would be upset. It is quite contradictory, isn’t? I don’t want anyone to see me like this, yet I don’t want to be alone either. I wish I could tell you how much it means to me when you’re there. I wish I could tell you...

Sometimes you are quite the contradictory person, you know that? I can tell. After all these years, I know you pretty well. I know that, no matter how much you don’t want anyone to see you right afterward, you appreciate it when I am there. I can see it in your eyes.
Your eyes... I wish I could tell you...


Maybe one of these days I will tell you how much all you do means to me, even when I insist you don’t need to do anything. Maybe one of these days I will tell you how good looking you are – even though I know your ego doesn’t need any more inflating.
Maybe one of these days I will tell you...

Maybe one of these days I will tell you how much I love helping you out, even if you insist you don’t need the help. Maybe one of these days I will tell you how good looking you are – especially when you get all embarrassed and blush.
Maybe one of these days I will tell you...


I love you.

I love you.


Last edited by Remus Lupin on March 29th 2011, 4:07 am; edited 1 time in total
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Remus Lupin
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Re: The Morning After

Post  Guest on October 27th 2010, 2:26 pm

Dear Amethyst,
Your text was right.
I love it I love it I love it.
I also really love you.
Love and hugs and kisses,
Eowyn

Dear Remus,
iloveyou.
-Sirius

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Re: The Morning After

Post  Remus Lupin on October 27th 2010, 10:44 pm

*squeals*
Yay!!!!!!
I'm so happy you love it!!!!!!
<3
I LOVE YOU!!!

Dear Sirius,
I love you too.
~Remus
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